“Frustration Regression”

I prefer walking around the school campus alone these days. I don’t want to be with my friends and I don’t want to be around them.

One factor is because I am really really annoyed with my best friend. It’s not the first time this happened, but the way I’m becoming more vexed with her is just not calming down. It just grows gradually and I don’t know why.

When you  become close to someone, you no longer just see the good side of them. Sooner or later, they’ll get caught off guard and be comfortable enough to show you the bad side of them. And that is exactly what’s happening.

We’ve been best friends since grade five, and we’ve had two big fights so far, and those fights were brought upon by her complaining about me. I’ve put up with her enough, and I guess I just happen to be full of it because I can’t seem to remember why she’s even my best friend.

I guess the vice-principal separating us was a great idea. I wish they didn’t allow them to transfer to my class.

Because really, I’m beginning to think that it would’ve been better that way.

I feel frustrated just thinking about this. I don’t want to throw away the years of friendship I’ve had with her just because of this problem–just because I’m really annoyed with her to the extent that I take my anger out by murdering people virtually via Rockstar video games. And I’ve been doing that a lot lately…

So, why am I annoyed? Because she’s been really insensitive. Everyone has their own insensitive and self-centered side but …is it too much to ask that they keep it down?

Argh. I don’t know what to do. I really really really don’t want to hang out with her… at least for a while. At least after this anger subsides. But I can’t! Because when I tried that yesterday, when my seatmate and her best friend invited me to join them for lunch and I said yes, you know what she did and said? She pushed me and said: “FIne, be with them.”

I got really angry when she did that. She hangs out with other people besides me yet I never push her and say anything like that. For all I know, she’s the one always hanging out with other people more! SO WHY CAN’T I?

I have other friends besides her, and other friends mean knowing secrets of other people. I was conversing with this other friend of mine, and she was confiding to me this secret about her bandmates. We were talking about something confidential but then she arrived and stayed there. We stopped talking and just looked at her…we were giving her a lot of hints that she wasn’t supposed to be there, but she just asked and tried to join in the conversation anyway.

Hey, she knows secrets of other people, and whenever she talks about those confidential topics with them, I leave them alone. Why can’t she do the same?

WHY AM I EVEN BLOGGING ABOUT THIS? Am I really that irritated with her? YES. I’m really irritated to the extent of wanting to roam around school alone rather than being with her.

And that is why if you’re my schoolmate, you’ll see me walking alone.

I don’t care if you think I’m a loner. I won’t care because you don’t even know what really is happening. I don’t care if you see me walking with other friends. I won’t care because you have no idea how much I’m annoyed with my best friend that when you leave me alone with her I don’t feel like talking cause if I would… I think that I’ll just pour out how annoying she is. And I’ll probably be saying it rudely and in an  exaggerated manner because by that time I’ll probably be angry enough not to realize I’m already hurting her feelings.

But it’s not like she’s never hurt my feelings. She has. And she been hurting my feelings a lot.

With my taste of music, for example. She’s been criticizing it and telling me how bad or gay it sounds. Well here’s the thing: Shut up cause I never fucking criticized the music you fucking like. You should know how to respect people’s ideas, opinions, and feelings! Doesn’t mean we’re close and you say things like that you won’t offend me okay?

You keep telling me how pampered I am because I’ve never commuted by myself? Who fucking cares? I’m not the only one with parents who are overprotective and actually loves me.

You tell me that my favorite color is ugly and shit? WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP. It’s my favorite color. I’m not asking you to like it, so why tell me how much you don’t like it?

You complain that you want to hang out and now that I’ve actually tried to prepare time for us best friends in my house you tell me that you’ll never visit my house again cause there is nothing to do and because it is small? Well don’t be such a brat. Not everyone has a house as big or bigger than yours.

I’m really full of it. I’m tired. I don’t know how I’ve put up with you and I don’t know how I managed to do so… but I’m really sorry because I really really really… as much as I love you… I’m really annoyed with you right now.

I Don’t Want to Like “Mr. Popular”

Tags

Crush, Follies, Friends, Life, Love, Love life, Personal, Personal life, Popular guy, Problem, Problems, School, Thoughts

He’s overrated.

He’s popular.

He’s the it boy.

He’s vain; and

He’s full of himself (at least that’s what I overhear).

Do I like him?

These four words keep running on my mind… because I really don’t know the answer. Well, it’s either that or I don’t want to know the truth… just in case me liking him is the truth. I don’t want to confide or tell my best friends about this because I’ve always hated guys like him and… it’s just so annoying how it seems to be changing.

It all started days before classes resumed. My sister was on twitter and there was this guy–who was supposedly popular in the country–being talked about by our school mates. They were prattling about how he was going to study in our school and how he’s so cute/cool/or whatever. I didn’t care about it back then, but that was before I even gave myself a chance to look at him. Sounds cliche, huh? Even I think so.

When school started, I hung out with my  guy friends and the three of us ended up taking a table close to “mister popular” and his clique. (I can’t believe he already got people to sit with him on the first day. Not that I didn’t have people inviting me, but you would be amazed at how many students were gathered around him.) Anyway, after talking about my share of video games, I happened to glance at his direction. I was wondering why lots of girls… boys… students were gathered around one table and soon after… I happened to catch one guy’s eyes and I didn’t realize that I’ve already made eye-contact with the new it boy until I told one of my friends I thought he was cute.

“Who’s he? He looks cute,” I remember telling them.

“Renzo?” One told me.

“No, no,” I waved denial. “Not Renzo, him. The guy with dark hair and eyes. The one sitting over there.” I pointed subtly.

“Yeah,” he said again. “That’s Renzo.”

“Really?” I furrowed my eyebrows when he nodded.

I felt stupid having this conversation with my friends. I mean, if I knew that he was the new “mister popular”, I would’ve never admitted that. In fact, after that conversation–which they seemed to have already forgotten, probably because it’s a girl thing and they aren’t interested–I’ve went on about how I thought he was overrated and not even that cute. Which was a lie.

Except for the overrated part. That is kind of true. He’s got fans even from elementary and that’s just wrong!

I never bothered about Renzo until yesterday, and I just noticed that today… when we catched each other’s eyes (several times). But don’t get me wrong. I am not assuming anything except that he probably thinks I’m one of those who like him. I just… its weird how I end up holding my breath when we lock eyes. It’s odd how I feel my heart leap in a stupid manner whenever we catch each other’s eyes. I just… want this absurdity to stop.

I don’t want to like him. He is the last person I would want to like.

But… do I? I mean, I don’t think of him occasionally, because as far as I know I like someone else, but there’s just this flip flop, fluttering of my heart whenever I look at him and I catch him doing the same.

Maybe I don’t like him now, but what if I end up liking him anyway?

Why am I even bothering about this…

Ugh.

I don’t want anything to do with him, and saying that is a lie. But I say it anyway…

As far as my best friends know, I do not like guys like him… plus they know I like this Korean guy, who already knows I like him because one of my friends pointed at him and shouted out that I freaking like him! What an idiot! I wish that I’ve never told him.

So, my point is…

I do not know why I am even making this a big deal.

I do not know if I like him. Will like him. Or am starting to like him. Either ways, I do not want to because I’m the kind of person who chooses to like what others don’t. I want to be unique… and I want to stand out–in a good way. I don’t like to be like every other girl who’s fawning over Renzo just because he’s some cute/handsome model who can dance really well.

But I guess I’m starting to be one of them anyways… which is horrible.

And I really really really wish I don’t end up liking him, because the last time I liked a guy he treated me like a sister (he’s two years older) and invited me to his wedding. True story.

So, anyways… I just really wanted to let this out because I don’t want to confide about this to any of my friends… I mean, even the mere thought of Renzo makes me feel stupid.

I just really wish I’ve never met his eyes.

Pacquiao-Bradley fight to be investigated?

Tags

Bob Arum, Boxing, Investigation, Manny Pacquiao, Personal, Thoughts, Timothy Bradley

After playing video games for an unfair amount of time, I switched off the PS3 and found out about Bob Arum wanting to investigate the Pacquiao-Bradley fight.

Finding this out surprised me because from my perspective, I think that they are taking the controversy too far. Though I recognize Manny Pacquiao as a great boxer, I do believe that Bradley did train hard for their fight so I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with him winning. I mean, everyone  deserves a chance to win.

Especially if they worked hard for it.

I know that they had a close fight and that chances of either of them winning  is 50:50, so I don’t think that there’s a reason for me to act against the results. As far as I know, both of them deserve to win and both of them trained for this. So why bother? Don’t you think that you’re hurting Bradley when you rub it on his face that you believe Pacquiao should’ve won? Give him a break. Doesn’t mean he’s an “underdog” he can’t win against Pacquiao.

Ever heard of David and Goliath? Doesn’t mean that Goliath is a giant, then David can’t win against him. It’s just like how Pacquiao’s a great boxer and out of your league, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is impossible for Bradley to beat him in one fight. Everyone deserves a chance. So don’t take it away from Bradley, or anyone else out there.

I don’t mean to be offensive, but I just really want to let out what I think. I don’t mean to offend anyone because I too was surprised about Pacquiao losing, but it doesn’t mean Bradley shouldn’t have won! I can’t believe that people are actually making a very very big deal out of this to the extent of suggesting an investigation… But just to clarify, I have nothing against the investigation Bob Arum wants to hold because he does have a right to that. (And there’s this part of me that also wants to know the answer–which leads to everything I’ve written here to nothing); anyway, all I’m saying is why not just cool off? Why not just give it a break?

Both of them are deserving winners anyway.

So if the investigation does happen, and we find out that the results are either meant to be or not, can we just accept it? I mean, I don’t really mind who wins. Chances, remember?

Everyone deserves them.

____

News Article/ Source:

• Bob Arum wants investigation into Manny Pacquiao’s controversial defeat to Timothy Bradley
• Bob Arum refuses Pacquiao-Bradley rematch, wants investigation into scoring controversy

____

Note: Everything written in here is clearly my opinion. I didn’t post this to offend or act against anyone out there. Just to remind you, this is my blog and I have the right to freedom of speech. ;-) 

When school starts…

Tags

Education, Personal, Personal life, Playstation, Problems, School, Thoughts, Video games

Starting tomorrow, I’ll have to wake up early and go to school. Which means, good bye video games and soap operas. How devastating.

Because of school I’d only get to play at least once a week?! And that sucks. Well for me anyways. And for others out there who would be experiencing this as well.

So, besides ranting and sulking about this, why won’t I take time considering the bright side(s)? :-D

When school starts again, what happens?

You meet new people! In my case, however, as a High school Senior chances of having new classmates are slim. But then again, I may get the chance to socialize with (new) students from the other levels… That is if they give an eccentric bookworm foreign language obsessed senior like me a chance to interact with them. Which I highly doubt because I haven’t socialized with anyone from outside my circle since high school started. AND I REGRET THAT.

What else? You see your friends again! Unfortunately for me though, my friends and I are put in different sections so… I only get to see them during break. I don’t know why the vice-principal did this to me. I think she hates me and my class.

You get to learn! I don’t know if some of you actually hates learning, but if you do… you should think otherwise. You should embrace learning! Would you rather grow up an incompetent fool? You should be thankful your parents are sending you to school/college because if they don’t do that all your skills and everything you’re capable of will go to waste. Don’t you think?

You won’t be idle/bored anymore. I’m not saying that I got bored from playing Uncharted, Red Dead Redemption, Max Payne, Call of Duty… Oh my gosh… I feel so horrible now that I’d have to put all these games away… :-( But anyways, I didn’t get bored from playing any of these games especially since time flies abnormally fast while doing so… but there are times when my brother wants to play the PS3 and I’m left out there in the cold… idle, with nothing to do. But this : blogging, prattling, ranting, or whatever you call it. But since there’s school again, there are homeworks, researches, and projects! So you never get to be idle! Yey! (Take note of the sarcasm please).

And lastly, my favorite, you get allowance again! This is the thing I love the most. Definitely the best among the ones I have mentioned. ;-) When I get allowance, I get to buy things, save, and like I said, buy! :-D

ANYWAYS, it seems that I have convinced myself (and maybe the others out there who managed to read this) that school starting again isn’t so bad. I mean, I still get to play video games at least once a week, I get allowance, I learn and become more erudite, and lastly, I get to borrow books from the library! :-D It isn’t so bad because I won’t be completely deprived from the things I love, right? Haha! :-L

So yeah, I want to play the PS3 as much as I can today, because I can no longer do so after tomorrow… so God bless! :-D

Proverbs 2:11
¹¹ Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

Tomb Raider E3 Trailer

Tags

Life, Online, Personal, Thoughts, Video games

Reblogged from Playstation Entertainment:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7JUHJd8HY

The Tomb Raider re-boot has been delayed until early 2013. But its looking worth the wait.

I cannot wait to get my hands on this. @-) I hope I'll get both this and The Last of Us next year AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. :-D Haha!

College Entrance Exams and Tips

Tags

Advice, College, Education, Exams, Life, Problems, School, Thoughts

Oh my gosh. So, maybe I’m am the only one who’s not reviewing after all. My best friend just IMed me saying that she is reviewing. In fact, she’s taking online practice tests! How am I supposed to feel?! I guess I’m the only one not pressured nor scared enough about the fact that I may not be able to get into a prestigious university. Uh-oh.

The fact that my friends are reviewing scares me a lot because I am not! It makes this horrible nightmare-ish scenario flash in to my head and it goes like this:

The envelope that declares my fate has finally arrived. I grab it from the mail box and slowly tear it open. The members of my family gather around me as they insist on letting me read the paper aloud. I become nervous and I see my hands shaking as I begin reading its content: We’re very sorry to inform you that you have not qualified–

Okay, enough of that. Just typing this nightmare of mine sends shivers running down and up my spine. I feel anxiety just thinking about not making it. So how am I to deal with this?

Let’s start with me giving advice to myself (and to the people out there who have managed to stumble into this post).

First of all, if you’re pressured about taking the entrance exam, then be glad! If you’re pressured, won’t you be more determined to study? Won’t you have something to push yourself into reviewing and working hard? You shouldn’t get scared when you’re pressured, in fact, you should be scared when you’re not. Why? Because believe me, if you aren’t pressured, you’ll have to drag and force yourself into reviewing even if you don’t feel like it. And yes, you will not feel like it. So even if you end up having your study tools in hand, your reviewing won’t last long anyway. If you’re pressured though, you’re really going to do a lot of reviewing… so when the time comes and you’ll have to take the test, you won’t have a reason to freak out. Why? BECAUSE YOU’VE PROBABLY REVIEWED YOUR WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS TEST.

Now, if you’re thinking, “I’m probably not the only one sitting here and not reviewing…” then you’re right. Yes, you’re right. Not everyone is pressured to the extent that they let their laziness get to them. Some even dawdle their reviewing and end up not having enough time to review! So, since you know this already, why not take advantage of it? If you know that there are lots of lazy asses out there, then why not review to be ahead of them? If you review and you know that there are some who don’t, you’ll get a better chance of getting in! There’s a cut-off remember? IF YOU KNOW OTHERS DON’T REVIEW, THEN YOU SHOULD! BECAUSE THE CUT-OFF WILL MAKE SURE THAT ONLY THOSE WHO ARE EQUIPPED FOR THE EXAM IS GOING TO BE ACCEPTED.

But what if you’re not a fan of studying hard? Then refresh that head of yours from time to time. You don’t have to dedicate your whole summer or months into studying studying studying (unless you can, then God bless)! You can just open your notes from time to time and refresh! :-) Dedicate at least a period of time to read your notes. Who says you have to study the whole month and whole day? You can do light studying and refreshers. After all, College Entrance Exams are exams that find out how much you’ve learned and remembered in your years of High School. If you’ve attended school and learned, then there aren’t much to worry. The only problem is how you’ll refresh that head of yours and make yourself remember everything you’ve learned. So, MAKE SURE TO DEDICATE A PERIOD OF TIME FOR READING NOTES! YOU’LL NEED TO REFRESH AND DIG-IN TO YOUR STOCK KNOWLEDGE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. ;-)

Of course, studying isn’t enough equipment for exams. You have to make sure that you don’t neglect your health. If you manage to study hard, make sure that you get enough sleep, eat healthy, and rest your eyes from all the reading. I mean, even if you manage to study, what happens if you stress out your brain? And not get enough sleep? You might drift off while answering the test or forget everything you’ve learned. So, PLEASE DON’T STRESS YOUR BRAIN OUT AND MAKE SURE TO STAY HEALTHY AND STRONG.

Lastly, you have to ask God for help; but of course, relying on God alone isn’t enough. If you pray to Him and ask Him to help you in the exam, but don’t review, then God bless. God won’t help you cheat and He most certainly won’t let the answers magically pop into your head. So don’t just pray, do your part too! Before reviewing, PRAY TO GOD AND ASK HIM TO GUIDE YOU INTO REVIEWING THE RIGHT THINGS AND TOPICS THAT WILL MOST CERTAINLY APPEAR IN THE QUESTIONNAIRE. ASK HIM TO EQUIP YOU WITH THE KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM, AND SKILL YOU’LL NEED AS YOU TAKE THE EXAM. :-D

Also, it won’t hurt to ask people to pray for you.

So, that’s it and that’s all I can say right now. If you have other advice to share, then share… because I’m one of those who’ll need it.

So to all of you taking the entrance exams, God bless! And if you’ve read this… I hope you’ve find it at least helpful. ;-)

(Original Composition) God is Here

Tags

Advice, God, Life, Personal, Song, Thoughts

One day, while I was praying, a visionary light bulb started hovering above my head and it lit up!

Now the idea that God has given me was to compose a song that helps my fear go away. Or in other words, He wanted me to compose a song that would remind me He’s always here by my side and that He will be my protector and healer.

Anyway, I didn’t really come up with a song song, but it happens to be convenient enough for me to remember and for me to sing every time fear tries to scare me. I mean, fear isn’t from God, so I have to put it away. And the opposite of fear (a.k.a. false evidence appearing real) is faith.

The devil finds ways to scare us, and since he’s a great liar, he can make anything false seem so real. That’s why Joyce Meyer, I think, came up with this acronym thingy: FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real, she wants to remind us that when we’re scared or trembling with fear, we’re just being convinced by the lies of the Devil… since he’s a great liar after all. And to fight the spirit of fear (which is obviously not from God), we have to have faith! Because if we become faithful, we will remember and believe that God is with us and he will be there to protect us! We will be reminded that our God is powerful and He will never forsake us.

And that’s what my song kind of reminds me. :-)

The lyrics reminds me of God being my salvation, healer, and protector. And that since he is here, nightmares falter and nothing can harm me!

So the following below, are the lyrics I have come up with…

There is no reason to fear

Cause God is here, He is here

When I call upon Your name

The enemy will fade, cause You’re here, You’re here

My salvation, my protector,

My healer, God, and savior

I’ll sleep dearly, I’ll be healthy

Nothing can harm me cause You are with me

Nightmares falter, diseases shudder

God always will protect me

How blessed am I to have You by my side?

How blessed am I to have You by my side?

So yeah, that’s the song I sing to make fear go away. ;-) It’s up to you if you want to try this too… I guess. Make a song for you to sing every time you need to remind yourself that there is indeed no reason to fear. Or you can just borrow these lyrics here and it’s up to you to sing it the way you want. :-bd

But do be respectful… No stealing… I don’t enjoy people taking my credit and stuff… So yeah. Haha! :-L

God Bless! :-D

Psalm 21:13

¹³ Be exalted, O Lord, in Your strength; We will sing and praise Your power.

School, Faith, Surprises…

Tags

Change, God, Life, Personal, Problem, School, Thoughts

Forty-eight hours from now, I’d most likely be driven to school. It won’t be anymore later when my video-gaming time would be limited to only every Saturdays, and that I won’t be able to stay up late just so I can watch my soap operas. It sucks for me, but I’m pretty sure my parents are proud of themselves for what they are doing. And why shouldn’t they be? Their doing a great job of giving their children self-discipline. ;-)

I grew up in a family of Christians and the word of God is strictly to be followed. Back then, when I was still much more juvenile compared to now, I used to read the bible and pray just so I won’t get scolded by my parents. But things slowly changed as I grew up. I guess seeing my parents with firm resolute faiths moved my heart little by little everyday.

When I was young, I knew that God sent his son Jesus to save us from our sins,

John 3:16

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

but knowing that isn’t enough. I have to have faith in that and truly accept God as our Lord and savior.

And that didn’t happen until the time I first truly fasted…

Fasting used to be not playing video games and reading the bible/praying instead…but I didn’t know what it truly meant and how much it could change my life until I really did it and took it seriously.

It was this year when I first fasted for a week. I fasted from video games, computers, sweets, and reading books. It was hard, and I thought of it as dull at first, but when I dedicated my time reading His word and praying to Him… little by little I started to enjoy it. It may be hard to believe, but I dare you to do so. You should fast. Don’t do the things you love doing the most and spend time with God instead. Try it for a week, and you would be amaze with how much this can change you. Just try it, you have nothing to lose. ;-)

Anyways, spending time with God changed me somehow. And a real life example of this is when I used to have this really unhealthy doll / humanoid figurine phobia, to the extent of crying just when I think of them… but as my faith grew stronger, my fear diminished until it just faltered one day.

Why?

Because of the song God asked me to compose (God is Here) and because of the word of God! In the bible it says…

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Hebrews 13:5-6 For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

So what and why should I fear?

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, and He is higher than any other! He is healer and awesome in power, so if our God is with us what can stand against? This is reference to one of my favorite praise songs from Chris Tomlin. (Entitled: Our God).

Ever since God’s Holy Spirit became alive in me I changed, and my life has become more complete and joyful–despite having nothing to fan-girl over–compared to before. And I want this change to be seen by my friends and by the people in school.

When I arrive in class on Wednesday, I want to be able to reflect God’s glory and purity. I want them to see that I have changed; and just like my parents… I wish to be able to move the people around me in or out of school, the way my parents have moved me and the way they have become the catalyst in helping me know that God is indeed a God who saves.

So, in spite of being sad about less video-gaming time, I should be happy because this is just another opportunity for me to share the good news! (Plus, I have to review for my college entrance exams anyway. The last things I need are distractions).

But here’s the problem.

In reference to my last post: If the sections aren’t as it used to be, how am I able to disciple these specific dudes if they are on the other class?

I guess it’s just up to God.

What’s nice though, is that school has changed a couple of things, so it would be kind of like an adventure for me this year. Not knowing what would happen, I mean. :-)

All I can do is wait until I have find out what God has stored up for me this year. :-D

Thoughts on Manny Pacquiao losing…

Tags

Boxing, Manny Pacquiao, Personal, Sports, Thoughts

I’m sure everyone knows who Manny Pacquiao is… but just in case, he’s a great Filipino boxer. He hasn’t lost for a while since … I honestly don’t know what year, but yeah. He has earned the title of unbeatable, until now.

He has turned Christian recently, and I believe that God let him lose his match today for a reason. I’m sure that the Lord has greater plans for him… and everything does happen for a reason. I believe that his faith is being tested or that maybe God does have some other plans. Maybe He doesn’t want him to give in to the ways of the world once again, or He wants the world to know via Manny that God is worth believing in and having faith in despite the trials we encounter.

I may not know what God’s plan for him is, but I believe that it’s something big and great.

After all, who am I to question God?

Manny Pacquiao had shown good sportsmanship today, despite the results, and I personally think that both him and Bradley are deserving winners anyway. :-)

" IS ANY PLEAS...

Reblogged from Love and Reality:

" IS ANY PLEASURE ON EARTH AS GREAT AS A CIRCLE OF CHRISTIAN FRIENDS BY A FIRE?" ~C.S. Lewis

• Proverbs 12:26 The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.
• Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
• Proverbs 20:6 Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?

Rico

Tags

Follies, Love life, Online, Personal, Playstation, Problem, Thoughts, Video games

This is one of the things I will never have the guts to admit (in person, in front of my friends)…

It started in April, when I was still attending my review classes. I arrived home one day, and my brother told me that he has a new friend. I asked him who it was, and that was when I met Rico.

It sounds normal when I tell the story this way, but I swear it would be nothing but ludicrous when I admit that I’ve never met him in person.

So to elucidate, he’s some person my brother met while playing Uncharted 3 (a.k.a. the best video game of all time). One of them added each other, and there are multiple times when I too end up playing with him via my bro’s PSN (splitscreen) or mine… But moving on, he actually has a headset and yes, I hear his voice which is so beautiful. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but he… I just really like his voice, the way he speaks, and the way–I’m going too far. Anyways, to sum it all up, I just ended up infatuated with him for some reason. And no, he doesn’t know that because he thinks I’m a guy because of my Online ID and because I have no mike. Plus, it’d sound downright stupid if I’d mail him saying, “Dude, I’m actually a girl.” Don’t you think so?

Ahhh…

I’m silly aren’t I? This is the most absurd I’ve experienced. Crushing over a guy just because of his voice and who’s seemingly good/kind. I mean, maybe he just had his voice altered or something, it could happen anyways; and the personality he’s showing? It might be just for show.

But despite all this… he’s been in my head the whole summer.

Oh my gosh, admitting that alone is super weird, crazy, silly, and foolish. I don’t know what to do. I guess I’ll just have to wait until this stupid crush of mine subsides…

But then, there’s this stupid part of me that likes liking him. Plus I have this little tiny wish of me being able to really meet him in person and see him for who he really is–amp! What am I even saying? This is absurd!

Prbbtt…

I don’t even know anything about him! Everything he’s been saying and telling can be just lies… For all I know, Rico might not even be his name! But here I am still blogging about how I’m stupid enough to be infatuated with him!

Did I mention my twitter has been full of esoteric tweets about him? Tweets like…

“You’re the soundtrack of my summer”

“You’re either celebrating Mothers’ day or sleeping”

“I hate timezones”–he’s on the other side of the planet and that’s the only fact I am sure of. Did I tell you that already?

“I have to either sleep late, wake up early, or not sleep. Stupid timezones”

“What time is it where you are?”

“Now, I truly understand the meaning of Simple Plan’s Jet Lag”

“Pixo” “Pixo power” “Piko”  –because if you read that in Greek, it’s actually Rico. ;-) Witty, don’t you think?

So yes, he has been preoccupying my mind for the past few months and all this is very silly. Did I mention he got me into Spanish songs? Haha!

Anyways… if you’re one of my friends and you happen to read this, I’ll assume that you already know what’s up with “Pixo”or “Piko” and Spanish songs. ;-) But I doubt that you even know I have this site… Haha!

So yeah… this wasn’t so hard. This has been bottled up inside of me since forever  and I’m glad that I am able to let this out… :-)

Me? Loner much?

Tags

Friends, Personal, Problem, School, Thoughts

Three days from now, school will start again.

It wasn’t too long ago when I found out about the list of sections, and when I found myself sulking over the fact that my best friends are like on the other side of the planet. (Speaking of that, I might want to talk about Rico later…)

Our batch used to be divided perfectly until now.

I understand the fact that they put the couples in separate sections, but the fact that they placed my best friend away from me and the way they put these specific group of girls in my section… I do not. I seriously don’t approve of this and the vice-principal a.k.a. the mastermind of all the horrible ideas I have to deal with. No offense. It’s my blog, I say what I want how I want.

Anyways, since I have a new pair of glasses that suggests I’m nerdy, and thick books that usually only adults would enjoy reading… I plan to sit at the back corner and read and have myself not socialize with the others. I honestly think that’s cool. Haha! Which obviously gives you the idea of me being eccentric.

I don’t know if this year would be as fun or more fun than it used to be, but I just really hope that I’d graduate valedictorian… because if I do, I’ll be proving myself something and I get a fair price from my parents. ;-) Also, I hope that my best friends and I don’t grow apart, and I’ll hopefully be able to get along well with my other classmates… a.k.a. the ones I have not exactly interacted with these past years.

Uh-oh!

 

Important exams you can’t fail

Tags

Education, Exams, Personal, Problem, School

When most of the people in your family graduate from prestigious colleges, it will be inevitable for them to expect you to do the same…

I will be taking the college entrance exam on August and… it’s not so far from now. And even though my wonderful parents have let me attend a review center, which are supposed to help me, I still don’t feel like I’m equipped enough. The review center unfortunately ate up my whole month of April and if it doesn’t pay off, I swear I’m going to go all depressed.

Also, despite the whole month of review center-ing, I still have to refresh my mind from time to time… and that I am not doing. This is one of the reason, why I feel like I might not make it.

Also, I didn’t take my first and second year of high school seriously. My parents told me to study hard and do excellent in all four years of high school because my gen. average would either help or harm my chance of getting into a great university. But since I was stubborn and lazy… I didn’t pay attention.  I just let myself be the happy-go-lucky person I am.

Which was the worst mistake I’ve ever done.

Fortunately, though, thanks to God I was able to take things a bit more seriously when I turned third year. Thanks to His grace, I was able to get into the top six of our batch! :-)

Despite that however… I knew it wasn’t enough.

If I hadn’t been such a pathetic lazy ass for the past years, then I would not be stressing things out. Universities will evaluate my grades from first to third year! And if the average of my grades aren’t impressive enough, then I’d have to do a really great job in the entrance exam… which again, I am not reviewing for ever since April.

Honestly, I don’t think that I am alone. I know that I’m not the only lazy ass out here who’s letting him/herself distracted by the technology and fun things in this world. Which is why I am seriously foolish for not even taking this idea for granted. I mean, if I’m obviously not the only one reviewing, then why am I still sitting here blogging, playing Uncharted, or scooping myself some ice cream, when I should be reviewing while the others are not?! If I reviewed, then won’t I be like ahead of them? So why am I letting this chance slip out of my hands?!

BECAUSE I’M LAZY.

But I know that laziness won’t get me anywhere, which is why I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach every single time I think of August being so so near!

When school comes this June, would I be able to juggle reviewing and studying without being all stressed out or crazy? I hope that by God’s grace I will be able to do so…

Because I really really don’t want to let my parents and myself down.

What About?

Tags

Personal, Thoughts

I can’t seem to figure out what to do with my other blog anymore, but then my best friend has recently signed up for a wordpress account… and she has found herself a way to express herself to the public. I honestly liked the idea and I really don’t want to give up blogging that’s why I’m here right now: typing on my laptop and forming this supposedly amusing post.

In here, I want to be able to express the things that cross my mind and the words that I can never have the guts to tell anyone else (or post in my other blog which my friends follow). In here, I want to prattle about the things I like and used to like and express what I feel…

In conclusion, I plan to blog about all the things I’ve bottled up inside of me in here. Whether they’re my problems, thoughts, feelings, or maybe just things that I enjoy babbling about (e.g. video games, foreign languages, books).